The publication of this article was delayed because the powers that preside over the country I call home ordered an internet shutdown that lasted four days, beginning at 18:00 on Tuesday, 13 January 2026, to protect what they referred to as "gains." As to whether an indiscriminate nationwide internet shutdown is the most effective and sustainable way of protecting any gains, the jury is still out.

It appears, however, that state authorities are not the only ones keen to protect their gains.

A few years ago, a certain association of men became popular in Uganda. Its name was the Stingy Men Association of Uganda (SMAU), with the slogan, “I will see what I can do.” They even have a website. Membership of this association was twofold: either by declaration, where a man would inform whoever cared to listen that he was a member, or by behaviour, where — especially women — would declare one a member based on how much effort was required to obtain some of his money.

Members of this association were as committed to their cause as members of the anti-bathing clubs in various boarding schools. Stingy men clung to their money with a cohesive force stronger than that of super glue.

While women loathed this association, the men defended themselves by saying that joining the club was the only way they could stop what they viewed as the exploitative extraction of their finances by the fairer sex. This behaviour is today known as luseke (sucking out finances as one does a drink through a straw).

Fellow men, before we take extreme positions on our finances and refuse to share with the women in our lives, we need to appreciate where women’s desire to be provided for comes from. Women are the foundation upon which life grows; by nature, they are nurturers. However, that very responsibility to nurture often removes them from many ventures that would otherwise generate income, yet they still require resources to fulfil this natural responsibility and desire.

So where, then, do women turn for provision? Their partners in this nurturing business — the men.

Women operate much like a government taxation system. They obtain money from you so that they can use that same money to take care of you and others under their care. Just as it has been said that when you educate a woman, you educate a nation, when you give to a woman, you give to the family.

The desire and demand by women to receive money (or other resources) from men is, therefore, a good thing and part of the natural order. However, like all things naturally designed to serve a good cause, women’s desire for resources to fulfil their responsibilities has also been abused by some, becoming self-serving. But women are not the only abusers of what is meant for good.

Infants, for example, being vulnerable and prone to injury, naturally use their unrelenting and dramatic demands for attention to keep our eyes on them for their safety. However, we also know that even infants often abuse this well-intended design and make it self-serving. The Luganda word for this today is bakisussa (they exaggerate it).

Men, as leaders, also desire to know and feel respected by their wives. This sense of respect is important for effective leadership. However, we also know that many men, since time immemorial, have abused this natural desire by making unreasonable and sometimes inhumane demands of their wives.

The task before us men, then, is not to demonise women’s requests for provision, but rather to investigate the motive behind each request — and, if it is found not to be self-serving, to release the money.